


The Immortality Club

by Bluspirit92



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Minor Jack Harkness/Rex Matheson, Post Miracle Day, Snark, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 20:18:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5679406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluspirit92/pseuds/Bluspirit92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s nothing better for team bonding than dying together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Immortality Club

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much just a bunch of snippets of Rex and Jack being immortality buddies post Miracle Day. There’s some brief mention of vomit if that squicks you out and the Jack/Rex is super brief and mostly joking. It’s basically gen.

“Fuck.” 

Jack took a deep breath and looked over at the man next to him. They were both lying on the dirty floor of a warehouse, with matching bullet holes riddling their bodies. 

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Jack let out a wet laugh that quickly turned into a cough, and Rex sighed loudly. 

Jack pushed himself up to his feet and stared down at Rex, who had an arm flung over his eyes and wasn’t moving. 

“I’m not as used to this as you. Give me a few minutes,” 

Jack grabbed Rex’s arm and yanked him to his feet. Considering Rex was fairly limp and unwilling, this didn’t really go well. They went toppling over the other way, and ended up in a messy pile, limbs tangled, and Rex positioned awkwardly on top of Jack. 

“Yeah, okay, I’m moving, I get it.” Rex grumbled, untangled himself and stood. 

“You may have all the time in the world, but this mission does not,” Jack said as he stood too. 

Rex pulled his gun. Jack raised an eyebrow. 

Rex looked back at Jack and waved him forward. “We got this.”

\---

“So, decapitation. How does that work?” Rex asked out of nowhere. Just the two of them sitting at a conference table after one of Gwen’s briefings, drinking shitty coffee. The silence had been shockingly comfortable up until that question. 

“Well, first you line the blade up with the neck, then you start to cut,” Jack grinned, and Rex looked like he wanted to punch him. Which wasn’t so different from his resting expression. 

“Obviously. But if one of us did get their head cut off, would it grow back, or would we have to reattach it? Or would we really die?” 

Jack thought for a minute, then shook his head, “I don’t really know. My strategy is to just avoid getting decapitated. I’m pretty good at avoiding it,”

“Amazing. I actually have a question about immortality and you can’t answer it. What’s the point?” Rex could have been talking to himself, but Jack didn’t really care. 

“I’m like your wise guide to immortality. And your wise guide says: don’t get decapitated.”

“Thank you, wise old guide.” Rex said with almost no real gratitude.

“Hey! I never said old,” Jack protested. 

“You’ve got what? Like a couple hundred years on me? I’d say you’ve earned to title of old.”

Jack pouted. “Well, fuck you,”

Rex snorted, then held up his coffee cup in some kind of toast or half-assed apology. 

“Here’s to avoiding decapitation together,”

\--- 

The girl awoke to find herself floating in the air, feet above her bed. Like those possession scenes in horror movies, only she was awake, curled into a ball, and very confused. Her life was not Paranormal Activity, she swore. 

And then everything in her room started floating. Drifting towards the ceiling slowly, like they were sinking through water. 

A quick glance out her window showed her that the cars in the street and the people mowing their lawns were beginning to float too. And they had no ceiling to hold them back. 

That was about when the panic started. Because this was her, it had to be. She woke up floating, and now everything else was. It must be her fault. And she didn’t know how to stop it. 

There was knock on the door, and she turned, even more panicked. What if they floated too? 

The bedroom door was pushed open, and in the doorway stood a black man in a nice suit and a white guy in a long blue coat. 

“Do I have to fish her down?” the suit asked, sounding very bored and done, which was annoying, because he had just gotten here, and she was the one floating!

“Could just tie a string to her, like a balloon,” the coat suggested with a smile. This was also not helpful. She was not a balloon, damnit! 

“Who the fuck are you?” she almost shouted, and the men blinked like they had just realized she could hear and see them. 

The suit stepped forward and held up a badge she couldn’t read. He had an authoritative voice. “We’re Torchwood,” 

The coat slouched against the door frame, but gave her a reassuring smile. “We’re here to help.” 

\---

Anwen began to cry. For the fifth time in the hour. 

Jack held her away from him. “Why did we agree to this again?” 

Rex took the baby. “Because we love Gwen and hate to see her so stressed?”

“Goddammit.” 

“You’re terrible with babies, you know,” Rex said as he gently rocked Anwen, who had stopped crying as soon as Rex had taken her. Jack made a face. 

“Which is funny, considering how immature you are,” Rex added. 

Jack flipped him off. “Let me try again. I think I got this now.” 

“If Gwen comes back to find her kid screaming and crying, I’m blaming you,” Rex said as he gently handed over Anwen. 

Jack took her and began to bounce her up and down, faster and faster. Anwen was laughing, but Rex did not look thrilled. Jack grinned at him. 

Rex crossed his arms. “If you don’t slow down, she’s going to throw up on you,”

“No she won’t. She likes me.” Jack gave Rex his best ‘I win’ expression. 

Rex shook his head and began to pick up the toys from the floor, preparing for Gwen’s return and Jack’s downfall. 

A gurgle came from the baby. Jack did not slow down. 

Anwen threw up all over him, regurgitated milk dribbling down her chin. 

Rex laughed at Jack’s betrayed expression. “Told you.” 

“Take the damn baby, Matheson.”

“At least you weren’t wearing your precious coat,” 

“Take the fucking baby so I can punch you, you asshole.” 

Rex took the baby, wiped her face and laughed. 

\---

“How long do we have to do this?” Rex asked. 

Jack lowered his binoculars. “It’s a stakeout. We have to do this as long as it takes. Didn’t you guys have stakeouts in the FBI or whatever?” 

“CIA, asshole, and yeah, we did. I just don’t see why we need to stay up all night watching aliens do shit. Can’t we just go in there and grab them?” 

“We don’t know what they’re doing. We have to be sure. Don’t want to die,” 

“Not like it’d be permanent.”

“No, it’d just be painful.” 

Rex yawned and slid down in his seat. “Well, I’m going to take a quick nap. You have fun with your professional spy bullshit.” 

Jack punched Rex in the shoulder. “It’s not bullshit, it’s important.”

Rex let out a loud and very fake snore. 

Jack glared, but went back to watching until he heard Rex’s breathing even out. When he was sure Rex was asleep, he pulled the blanket over both of them and leaned his head on Rex’s shoulder. 

And that was how Gwen found them the next morning, still in the hideout, curled up, wrapped in blankets, Jack’s head on Rex’s shoulder, and Rex’s head on Jack’s. 

\---

Jack turned and looked at the security cameras lurking in the corners of the building. “Just so you know, this is completely necessary to the mission,”

Rex did not look reassured by those words. “What?”

“I’m going to kiss you now. Remember, completely necessary.” 

Rex looked like he was going to murder Jack and make it stick. “No, it’s not-”

Jack grabbed Rex’s face and pressed his lips to his. Rex struggled for a few seconds before calming down and returning the kiss. 

They pulled apart, Rex looking pissed, and Jack looking far too happy with himself. 

“And my removing your head from your shoulders is going to be absolutely necessary to the mission too,” Rex spat, shoving Jack. 

Jack smiled wide and spread his arms, “Come on, you liked it, admit it,” 

Rex leaned in close to Jack’s face and whispered. “Sure. But not as much as you liked it,” 

He kissed Jack again, then quickly pulled back and kept walking down the hallway. 

Jack laughed loudly as he trailed after Rex. 

“Matheson, you really are learning,”

\---

This wasn’t a deadly injury. Just a few arrows through the arm, leg and chest. Because apparently a technologically advanced alien race felt the need to fight with arrows. Still, it wasn’t going to kill him. 

Though, surprisingly, death he could have handled. 

Jack grabbed Rex’s uninjured arm. “Rex, I need you to breathe.” 

Rex thought about that for a minute, trying to ignore the doctor trying to reach into his arm. “I don’t need to breathe, do I?”

“No, but I’m sure it would help!” Jack did not seem happy. 

Rex held his breath. Jack punched him, hard, in the face. 

“You will not be killing yourself to get out of a little pain! That is not how this works! Immortality isn’t an escape from pain, It is pain! And you are going to live with it! _We _are going to live with it!”__

__Rex looked at Jack. “I don’t want to. I don’t want it, Jack.”_ _

__Jack wrapped an arm around Rex as well as he could without interrupting the doctor._ _

__“I know. Neither do I. But we’re not alone.”_ _


End file.
